


The Moment

by RazleDazle



Category: Rhett and Link
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Arguing, Based around GMM Episode Newsical: Wedding Fail, Blood, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, Link pov, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-Graphic Violence, Third Person POV, present day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RazleDazle/pseuds/RazleDazle
Summary: All moments lead to something.  The moment Link reveals his secret could undo all the happy moments he and Rhett have shared or it can lead to a moment of greatness.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic. I am excited and nervous. Thanks for reading!

_It’s difficult to know when love begin. It is less difficult to know when it has begun._ –Harry Wadsworth Longfellow

_“I can’t do this anymore. You don’t know what this is doing to me!” I screamed at my love’s face, spittle flying out of my mouth as I ran from the car, leaving Rhett behind. “You have no idea. You never have. You think you can just play with my emotions.” Frustrated tears began to leak out of the corners of my eyes. Damn this! I thought, as I swiped at my face._

_Who was I? How did I get to this moment? How did I become that person screaming at my best friend in my front yard in the middle of the night?_

\------------

We had been working together on Good Mythical Morning for years now. Being this close to the object of my affection, my lust, my heart was beautiful torture. In high school, I was able to control my longing because I was apart from him for the better part of the day. My mind was occupied and there was little time to dwell on one-sided feelings.

Now I had the insurmountable task of working shoulder to shoulder on the set and toe to toe with him behind the closed doors of our shared office. That was why I wanted to end the show. I expressed as much with each season finale citing a drop in interest from fans or the fear of not being able to pay my bills.

But the truth was, the truth that I vowed never to tell him, was that every moment I spent with him was a moment where I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe when I sat so close to him while we recorded GMM shows. I couldn’t breathe when our feet accidentally touched underneath the desks that faced one another in our office. I couldn’t breathe as my heart slammed in my chest every time our voices rose up together in a sweet melody of song for our music videos. I couldn’t breathe being forever in Rhett’s towering shadow, always being hyper-aware of every glance, every touch and every smile. Always forcing myself to be the first to break eye contact, to shrug out of his embraces, to not linger too long or stare too deeply at the beauty of his body.

These were the moments that chipped away at me through the years. To be inches away for hours at a time and not able to close that gap. All I wanted to do was melt into him and mold my body to his, grab his face, his arms, anything just to hold on to him for an instant, a second, a lifetime. I would dream about him, always grasping for him in the night. I would open my eyes and find the bed is empty. I am alone and in that moment my heart breaks.

The problem was that all of the moments of pain could not outweigh the fact that I couldn’t breathe without him. I would cease to exist if he were gone from my everyday life. So my arguments to shut everything down were weak and half-hearted “Just one more season, brother.” He would coax. “We have come such a long way from our earlier podcasts in the basement in North Carolina. It can only go up from here.” He was able to convince me every time.

In reality, all he had to do was cast that magnificent smile on me and I was putty in this man’s strong fingers. He was in control. He always had control of me. I would follow this blonde giant anywhere, because he was my friend, my very best friend and he loved me. Not the way I longed to be loved. But it was still there, humming beneath the surface of every interaction, every word, and every decision. Rhett would walk through fire for me, as I would do for him. We didn’t have to say it, we just knew. We would trudge through this life together like we always had done. Being his friend was good enough. This moment was good enough, until it wasn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All moments lead to something. The moment Link reveals his secret could undo all the happy moments he and Rhett have shared or it can lead to a moment of greatness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link deals with the aftermath of the Newsical Kiss.

_Love is all the small moments.  It is what fills the quiet. –Jessica Shirvinton_

“And we’re done,” Stevie called out with a smile in her voice. We had just finished recording our second Newsical. The cameras went off and the lights got turned down and I was free.   _Finally._ “That sure was an interesting end to that episode. I bet we’re going to get a ton of views on that one.” Rhett laughed deeply.  “Yeah.. wow..that was sure…something, alright.” I sputtered out, as I quickly got up from my chair and sprinted from the room.  My head was swimming and my eyes were watery. _What in the hell just happened?_ Rhett seemed to be able to recover from the kiss in record speed.  Here I was replaying it over and over in my mind:   _The awkward plexi-glass between us, the delicious pressure of his lips, the wave of heat that swept over my body, the slight twinge in my groin._  

I pressed my palms under my glasses and into the sockets of my eyes as I sped through the studio.  I slammed in to something hard and heard it go crashing to the floor. “Oh my gosh I’m sorry,” I cried out and looked to see a broken mannequin.   _What is wrong with me?  I am apologizing to inanimate objects, now?_ I raced into the dressing room and hid in the back with the clothes.  I sat down with my back against the wall, taking deep breaths, trying to calm my heart and the blood that was racing through my body.  

_This unfortunate episode changes nothing, Neal. Keep it together._ I had been able to control my mind and body from the many years of practice.  I love Rhett, always have and always will, but it doesn’t do any good to constantly dwell on the unattainable.  But this episode had to happen.  This kiss had to happen and now I am in the back of a dark dressing room, alone and hyperventilating as Rhett is probably laughing and celebrating the end of a great episode with the crew.   _All of this is too much.  I can’t handle the pressure building in my chest and behind my eyes._ I wrapped my arms around my torso and pulled my knees up, trying to contain what threatened to splash out.  

This kiss let loose a damn of emotions, of thoughts suppressed and quarantined to the back of the brain to be left alone to die.  All the moments came rushing back.  The few times I was able to hold him, express my love through looks, small touches, handshakes and hugs. Sleep overs, running through the woods, swimming in the lake, all the times we were half naked together.  Lying just above him the four years of college, listening to him gently snore.  Posing for pictures with our arms draped around each other.  All the wheel endings that required us to touch; legs, hands and bodies intertwined and our faces close as we laughed our heads off.  The times we had to share a bed and I woke up with him, around him, tangled up with him.  Those enchanting sweet moments were ecstasy to savor one at a time, but the barrage of memories all at once was smothering.  

The embraces, the looks, the touches, the happy moments never lasted long enough for me.  It was never enough.  I wanted more, so much more than I was even willing to admit to myself. I was petrified.  He didn’t love me…wouldn’t love me . . .couldn’t love me.   _What’s the use?_ We are partners, cohosts, and friends.  That was it. _That’s it, Neal. This was some silly kiss to entertain the fans.  To make them laugh. To make money.  Get over it. Move on._ No matter what I said to myself, I couldn’t get my legs to move. Digging my nails deeply into my stomach, my body was tense and I felt like I was going to turn inside out.

This moment seemed to stretch on, until I heard a tentative, “Link… Link … You in here, buddy-roll?” Rhett had come looking for me, but I was not ready to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my fic. I hope you enjoyed it! Any and all comments are appreciated! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All moments lead to something. The moment Link reveals his secret could undo all the happy moments he and Rhett have shared or it can lead to a moment of greatness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked straight into those glimmering emerald eyes. They caught the light of a street lamp and glittered, playing tricks on my mind. Before I could think or stop or breathe or cry another tear, my brain short circuited. I was lost in the argument, the feelings I had suppressed for thirty years and those eyes. Those green eyes brought hope and life to my life.

_All eternity is in this moment. –Mary Oliver_

 

I can remember the moment the argument began. Rhett knew there was something wrong with me.  It was no use hiding it.  We had known each other for too long.  He asked me. I kept quiet. He persisted. I had no energy to lie, so I told him I didn’t want to talk about it.  We drove up to my house.

_Why are we stopping at my house? I usually drive Rhett home first._ Then I realized that Rhett was in the driver’s seat.  My mind was not functioning properly. He pulled the car in the drive and shut it off. He reached out as he turned his body toward me. “Link, you don’t look well. What can I do?” The kiss we shared through the glass still lingered on my lips and the light caress on my shoulder sent shivers throughout my body.  I jerked away. With the effort to contain my raw emotions, I began to shake violently and my heart twisted in my chest. Rhett scooted closer to me in his seat and began to rub my shoulder blade, “Hey, Link. Buddy, what’s wrong?” _Why couldn’t he just let it alone? Why does he always have to fix it, to take care of me?_

I was barely conscious of the fact that I was screaming at him as I slammed the car door. I did not hear my voice as I let loose all the pent up frustrations that I had kept tightly secured in the back of my heart.  Not remembering how I found my way to the middle of my front yard, Rhett’s booming voice brought me back to reality. Its warmth reverberated through my bones and stopped me in my tracks.

“Hey! Come back here, brother. Let me help you.” Rhett roared in his baritone voice as he leapt from the car. He took 3 strides and caught up to me in a flash.   _Damn, those long legs._

When he was about five feet from me, he asked “What do you mean? Playing with you? Emotions? What are you talking about?” His voice rumbled deeply in his chest. Beautiful and calm, he stood his full height of six foot seven inches, towering, waiting for me to answer.

The whirl of emotions had still not settled down from the earlier moments of the day.  My head was still fuzzy and my insides were in turmoil. The voice in the back of my head was quiet, trying to break through the haze of emotion, _This is damn stupid, Link. Calm down. Don’t say it._ The voice was urgent but not persistent enough.  My mouth would not listen. It flew open and I shouted, “You think you know, but you don’t know how I feel.” With more hatred and anger than I had ever shown to my friend, I growled, “You’ve never known.”  

“Then tell me what I should know,” Rhett demanded fiercely throwing his hands up in the air, all patience gone.

I looked straight into those glimmering emerald eyes. They caught the light of a street lamp and glittered, playing tricks on my mind.  Before I could think or stop or breathe or cry another tear, my brain short circuited. I was lost in the argument, the feelings I had suppressed for thirty years and those eyes.  Those green eyes brought hope and life to my life.  I felt like I was floating outside of my body as I whispered, “My feelings for you.”

Looking into my eyes, he could see it. The love shone through every tear that fell down my face, in the quiver of my lip and the sniff of my nose, in my balled up fists and my shaking body.  He had to know.  He had to see it.  But still he asked, still he sounded terrified, “What feelings? What do you … ah… mean?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my fic! Any and all comments are appreciated. Have a great day! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All moments lead to something. The moment Link reveals his secret could undo all the happy moments he and Rhett have shared or it can lead to a moment of greatness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, he didn’t see it. He didn’t know.

_Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. –Omar Khayyam_

_No, he didn’t see it. He didn’t know._ I grabbed my head and covered my face curling over and into myself. I felt faint, my hands were clammy and my ears were ringing. I wanted to get away, but my legs felt like lead. _What did I do? What did I just say? I’ve ruined a beautiful life with a beautiful friend. Gone, in a moment, because I could not control my mouth._

“Link, Link, talk to me.” Rhett reached out, very obviously afraid for me.  I was a wild animal, clawing at myself. Making ungodly guttural noises and gasping breaths. Rhett was getting closer as I willed my legs to move. I took a small step backward.  I was swaying, the world was spinning. I felt drunk. The edges of my vision turned white and cloudy.  Rhett was within inches of me.  My insides crumbled to my feet and my head was screaming, lashing out at me, _No, no no. Stop. Stop time. Go back. Do anything to stop those words. To stop yourself from being a complete and total idiot._

In slow motion, I could see Rhett’s trembling hand closing around my arm. How I wished I could hold that hand and let its warmth and softness reassure me that my world was safe and that I was not broken.  I wanted to worship each fingertip with my tongue.  Let that hand caress my face and explore my body. But this hand was not mine to hold or to touch.  Just before he closed his nimble fingers around my arm, I snatched it away. “Don’t touch me,” I howled like an animal in pain. Fueled by fear, I turned on my heel and ran into my house, slamming and locking the door behind me.  

The slamming of the door rattled the house causing something to clatter to the floor. I didn’t care. Without turning on the lights, I ran through the house. I was blind, but not because of the lack of light. Replaying the awful scene over and over again in my mind, I couldn’t see anything else.  I couldn’t hear anything else. I dashed from room to room, aimlessly.  I don’t know what I was running toward or from anymore. Falling lifelessly against the wall in my hallway, I felt like I was fading away.  At any moment I could just disappear.  The only thing tying me down was the scream in my throat, but I did not have the energy to let it free.

 I tried to quiet my mind and calm my pounding heart. I had to find a way to fix this. To go back and erase what was said. Pressing my hands to either side of my head, I racked my brain. _There had to be a way_. I sighed miserably.  It was no use, it was done and over. With a snap of my fingers, I had decimated everything that was good and beautiful in my life.

The house was silent except for my shattered breaths and tears.  Suddenly, I felt a tender hand on my arm and saw a dark figure in front of me. With my back against the wall, this thing blocked my escape.  Its hands gently gripped my forearms. My struggles were ineffectual as I had spent my energy in the front yard screaming at Rhett, screaming at the world for giving me these feelings; these sweet horrid feelings for my best friend.  I had nothing left. My self-preservation drained.

“What do you want? How did you get inside my house?” I asked dejectedly.

“I have a key to your house, stupid.” Rhett’s low voice resonated in my ears. Just then the moon peaked out from behind the clouds and gleamed on his glorious face.   _Of course! This is not an intruder come to kill me and rob me._ I should have known. If I was operating on all cylinders, I would have recognized the height, the touch, the intoxicating smell of this perfect specimen. His anger made him sweat and it glistened on his forehead and cheeks.  It took all my strength not to run my fingertips over it, to taste it, to see if it was as sweet as his scent.  The thought ran shivers down my midsection and groin. _Stop_ I screamed internally, as I began to tremble in excitement.

Rhett must have noticed and mistook it for fear because his grip loosened and his voice softened, “Talk to me, Link. Please.”  His voice rumbled through my body and his hands were on me.  I couldn’t think about anything but this moment and his warmth radiating inches from me.  My lips parted to say everything that I had been holding in for years.  Every dirty thought, illicit secret, everything my heart and body had always wanted threatened to tumble out.  The internal struggle was palpable.  I wanted to be free. I wanted the love of the man that was just beyond my fingertips.  Lifting my hands and resting them on his forearms, I leaned in to him.  He didn’t move. He didn’t seem to notice what I was doing, that I was getting closer and closer to his mouth. I closed my eyes.  

 _But what happens afterward?_ My brain screamed at me.   _He kisses you back and you live happily ever after? NO._ That was not ever going to happen. He would laugh or be disgusted.  He would shrug me off and leave me.  Would I even have his friendship anymore? _Probably not._  After spending a lifetime together, I don’t think I could survive without him to warm my days.   _No, I can’t risk it. He’s too important._ A cold grip of terror forced me back and slammed my jaw shut.  I let my hands fall to my sides and my chin fall to my chest.  

All the while I was internally battling; Rhett tightened his grip on my arms and took a half step toward me, plastering me to the wall. His body brushed up against me and the proximity set me ablaze.  My body was in overdrive and every inch of me was on fire.  If not for Rhett’s hands on my arms, my legs would have given out.  “Link,” He breathed.  That small breath on my face was all it took to send my body over the edge. My sizzling skin ached to be touched and I felt like I was going to explode.  Rhett didn’t seem to notice the effect he was having on me. I moaned and twisted, trying to get him to let go. “Rhett, please let go.” I whispered. Ripples were shooting through my body and the tightness in my pants was growing more uncomfortable.

I wanted to be gone from this room, from his grasp, from this world. The alternative was never going to happen and it tore me to pieces inside to know that. He wouldn’t let go. _Why won’t he let me go?_  My innards were swirling, my head was reeling with thoughts of this man in front of me.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  He didn’t love me, didn’t want me.  I was enraged with my body for betraying me.  Infuriated with him for not knowing, not seeing the love that was so clearly there. _How can he not see it?_

I tore my arm free from his grasp causing his nails to scrape through the fabric of my shirt and into my flesh. I needed to get away, my body was unreliable.  Any moment I would do something that I couldn’t take back, couldn’t explain my way out of.  The pain shot through my arm, but it didn’t have time to register, as I brought my hand up and made contact with the side of Rhett’s face.  The impact forced his head back and to the side letting out a whoosh of air.  The force of my blow caused him to take a slight step back to catch his balance.

He whipped his head around and I saw a myriad of emotions cross his face.  Disbelief and shock turned into fiery anger. His eyes blazed at me for a millisecond. Then all at once his eyes turned sad, his face contorted in pain and his nose began to bleed. He released his hold on me and let the opposite wall catch him as he leaned backward. His haunting eyes, that were once boring into my soul, slid down my face and body to my feet.  In that instant, the battle, the fear, the anger, the hurt melted away and fell from my body.  I had injured my best friend.  Sorrow filled my soul.  “No. Oh, no, no,” I whispered. I closed the gap just as Rhett slid to the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All moments lead to something. The moment Link reveals his secret could undo all the happy moments he and Rhett have shared or it can lead to a moment of greatness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I convinced myself that I could stay like this forever. I could just die right here with my hands on Rhett and my body pressed up against him. This was as good as life was going to get.

_This moment contains all moments. – C.S. Lewis_

I stared down at my lifelong friend. His long arms wrapped around his legs and chin on his knees reminded me of earlier in the day when I was alone and broken in the dressing room. “Rhett. Oh. Rhett.” I whispered, my hands hovering over him. As I sank to the ground in front of him, he didn’t seem to hear me or see me. His eyes, those beautiful green eyes stared blankly through me like I wasn’t even there. Blood continued to drip from his nose and I could see a red welt rising on his cheek where my hand had just been.  My body began to sway at the sight of Rhett’s blood.  I drew in an unsteady breath, pulled my sleeve over my hand and gently placed it under his nose to collect the blood.

_You will not faint, Neal. Get it together._

Rhett pressed his nose down on my covered hand, but made no other movement or acknowledgement that I was even there anymore. His eyes swam with unshed tears and his body was rigid.

“R-Rhett. Oh gosh, Rhett. I can’t… I’m… I’m so sorry. Rhett. Please…” I murmured as my head fell to his other knee, dark hair falling to cover my face and eyes.  With my forehead resting against the gray fabric of his jeans, my other hand wrapped around his ankle.

All the fight, all the pain, everything had left my body.  My soul, my core felt hollow and my body was heavy.   _What have I done?_ I scolded myself. My friend, my brother, the man I love is a bleeding mess on my floor. I should have lied. I could have apologized for my words, tap danced around his questions, controlled the emotions that threatened the surface. Instead, I was weak. Allowing my thoughts to linger too long on that kiss, I let myself succumb to the sensual feelings it unleashed on me. It fed the hunger, but could not satiate it. I knew I could never be full.  The only way, would be to take Rhett, to keep this blonde giant and never let go. But that was impossible.

I loved him, oh gosh, how I loved him. But he didn’t love me. It was a useless game that I played with myself; a silly fantasy that I lost control of. I mentally beat myself up for letting my secret slip out from between my lips.

As my thoughts floated back to reality, I felt softness in my hand and pressure on my face.  Twitching my fingers, I could feel the smooth texture of Rhett’s dirty blonde hair. Without realizing it, my hand had tangled into his hair and brought the side of his face against my temple.  He hadn’t trimmed and the soft fur tickled me causing a slight smile on my face. I wanted to nuzzle against him and get lost in the feel of that softness.  Bring my hands to his face and let my body say all the things that I was scared to say. Feel his lips against my own lips, my fingertips, my belly, my … I clenched my eyes shut to block out the thought.  

I was not ready to lift my eyes and look at him. Not ready to see the damage I had done to his spirit and our friendship because I was frightened and lashed out.  The moments ticked on.  My body was getting uncomfortable from lack of movement.  I was not going to be able to hide anymore.  It was nearing the moment where a lifetime of moments we shared together was about to end.  I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not yet.

I convinced myself that I could stay like this forever. I could just die right here with my hands on Rhett and my body pressed up against him.  This was as good as life was going to get. The thought was depressing and freeing all at the same time.  

I pressed my face firmly against his knee. He shifted slightly from the unexpected movement but did nothing else.  In a muffled voice, I whispered against his leg, “Rhett.” I didn’t know what else to say. How do you plan a speech like this? How do you say, I’m sorry for lashing out, but I am in love with you and want to do dirty things to your body.  How do I say it and end thirty years of friendship?

“Rhett,” I managed to say again more clearly.  “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I . . I’m …I was . . . still am…scared.  Rhett.”  I said his name like an affirmation, a punctuation, an end to everything.  My eyes still closed and my head still against his knee, I didn’t know if he heard me. I only knew his body was with me, his mind was elsewhere.  After some time, Rhett let out what seemed like a lungful of air that he had been holding. It whooshed out and onto my now blood soaked hand that had long ago fallen asleep.  I felt the vibration of his mouth on my wrist.  

“Link, tell me,” His voice was gruff with disuse and emotion.  “Link, look at me and tell me, please.”  His voice hitched at _please._ It was like he was begging me to get the torture over with so that he would know and could escape.  I didn’t blame him.  I didn’t want to be here with me either.

“No, Rhett. I can’t. I can’t, because once you know, you’ll leave. I won’t blame you. I just can’t,” I sobbed quietly.  “Please don’t make me,” I whispered against his knee, turning my head from side to side.  

“Link…Linkster…” I felt a steady hand slowly stroking up and down my back.  The funny nickname and the warmth brought an instant calm to me.  My tight muscles relaxed and I leaned into the touch.  

“Link. We’re blood brothers. Or have you forgotten?  We promised to be great together, to do something great together. Tell me. I won’t leave.”

My body shuddered as I drew in an unstable breath, causing Rhett to wrap his other arm around me and squeeze me tighter to him.  I was done hiding and the moment had come. I was on a precipice and it was time to jump and deal with the fallout.  

“I’m in love with you, Rhett.”

I felt Rhett’s hands grip my shoulder blades. A low hum vibrated in his throat and suddenly, the side of my face was damp.  I peeked up between my lashes to see my friend’s eyes wet.

My hands cupped his face gently, wiping away his slowly falling tears. “Please, don’t cry,” I said barely above a whisper. As he gazed into my eyes, he brought his hands up and grasped my wrists. It was a series of moments frozen in time:  anticipation thick in the air, unsteady breaths, bodies leaning nearer as our eyes closed, his dancing fingertips, my thumbs slowly caressing the apples of his cheeks, faces moving excruciatingly slow as our lips inched closer together.

The world fell away. Nothing was left in this moment but he and I and this delicate and unhurried kiss. His mouth was warmer and sweeter than anything I had ever tasted. It was like a feather, much softer than the kiss through glass. Smooth lips traced over my own, comforting me in ways that words never would. This was the kiss that told me that Rhett felt the same way, had always felt the same way.  As our kiss deepened, it brought us higher, our hands tangled in each other’s hair and our bodies crashed together.  Two lifetimes of wounds were healed through this kiss.  

Life all comes down to a few moments. This was the moment that all the other moments were leading to. This moment trumped all others because in this moment, I had my deepest desire in my hands and I didn’t have to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my very first fic in the fandom. I am grateful for any comments. :)
> 
> Based around GMM Episode 320  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miz8_h3BrU0
> 
> Find me on Tumblr:  
> http://razle-dazle.tumblr.com/


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